The Villain

*DISCLAIMER: Sorry.. This has nothing to do with Los Angeles and my findings. Just pure uttered heartache.

I’ve been having a love/hate relationship with 2011. The challenges of my career are fantastic and I’m indulging the moments that I have in working and more work. It’s fun! The prick in this fine stem is cancer.

For the past few months, my family and I have lost 3 people in our lives to cancer. My grandmother was the first and that experience alone built a shell around me and allowed me to realize that the strength that I have to deal with her loss comes from her. I can go on and on about her character as my grandmother and my second mother, but the stories and lessons that she reiterated to me can fill a library.

Within 2 weeks, I’ve attended 2 funeral services and I know that these events are the last ones that we all want to attend. But all I can ask is WHY?

Why is it that when people vanish from the earth the first thing we ask is WHY? We question the never-ending question with more questions that leaves us boggled and in an ocean of tears. We ask why because we’re thinking, “Why didn’t I do something about it…” Why couldn’t I have done more…”

“I wish…” comes to a close second. Once we lose someone, we tend to tell ourselves and sometimes out loud, “I wish I could…” or “I wish I said/did/would’ve…” You get the point. These wishes are mere dreams or thoughts that remain undone, unfortunately, we were all too late.

But from every tragic loss, I’ve taken more in through a positive perspective as a daughter, sister, and friend. We will always lose someone in our lives that made their mark in our lives and their existence resides within us. Each day it’s going to be our job to relay their positivity amongst others.